It is long since I wrote. This naturally has its reasons. My father became ill and passed away during the fall of the cruel disease cancer. All projects are stopped. I stopped by. Yesterday it was 12 weeks ago he finally got to sleep from the pain. I miss him every day and I get approached me slowly, insight, and how much it takes to understand that he is no more.
Disappointment and anger at what his other family did have folded- it become a bit nasty around the funural which I couldn´t go to because of choises they made which was devistating first. I myself got a hefty "punch in the face" to understand that I was NOT family to them. To understand that my halfsisters never wanted or counted me as a sister, it was just grateful to have me to complain about, take out disappointment on and anger. Time after time I have tried talking to them before I gave up. They are has just too old now to "nagged" on.
So I drop them. I do not have time and energy, but above all do not want to be on hand during the dietary conditions.
Today the State, I have begun at me on my feet again. I pause sometimes to feel God's presence or be swept away in the universe's energies so that we work the right direction. I know now how to be successful, now I'll just put it into practice.
I lose weight, not because I do not eat, but because I suffered a kind of restless energy that drives me out on long walks with the dog, I choose to walk more than taking the bus. But yes, I have no appetite, and sometimes I eat solid food does not taste anything in the mouth just feels stale, but I need the fuel. Sleep comes and goes and I have just returned from a prolonged fever week which allowed me to choose a slower pace - go walking I do, anyway. One can go slowly as well.
Have a nice day
